Thanks, Birth Control

The war on women's bodies presents itself in many forms. It usually dresses up as sexual assault, pro-life, pro-choice, female genital mutilation, and all those other important issues that we rather avoid talking about. It never fails to make a grand entrance on the stage during election time. The war I'm talking about is frequently accepted as normal conversation. "When are you going to have kids?"

Invasive question.

The truth is when I can afford them and when I'm ready to have someone else become the focus of my life. When children are in the picture, it's not about you anymore.

Do these people who ask this question realize:

some women don't want children

some women have reproductive difficulty

some women just don't want you in their business

some women (me) are busy enjoying their lives without a dependent

If I plan on having children and it was any of your business- I'd let you know. In recent years, the American Journal of Public Health reported that about half of all pregnancies in the United States were unintended.

I'm preoccupied building the foundation for my legacy so no, I don't intend to have children anytime soon. Yes, I dream about the day I will have my own little family, a nice house, a cute little girl with chubby cheeks just like me. Last month the beau and I spent about five hours with my supervisor's 8 month old baby, Maya, and that experience reaffirmed the path I'm on right now is exactly where I should be.

So today November 10, 2015 I would like to say "Thanks, Birth Control," for having my back- keeping me on this childless path, making my cramps disappear, and shortening the days I have to wear black pants because of my paranoia. Bedsider created this cute little song that exemplifies my gratitude for my birth control.

For y'all who aren't aware -Bedsider is an amazing "online birth control support network for women 18-29 operated by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, a private non-profit organization. Bedsider is not funded by pharmaceutical companies. Or the government. Bedsider is totally independent and the info on it is honest and unbiased. Our goal is to help women find the method of birth control that’s right for them and learn how to use it consistently and effectively, and that's it."

In my own words, they are "the bomb.org"

I've known about them for years because my sorority, Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Inc. has a partnership with the National Campaign so Bedsider provided us with shirts years ago that said, "The best sex is safe sex." They are a great resource for everything birth control- learning the different methods, videos from real women and men discussing their candid experiences with contraception, friendly birth control reminders sent straight to your phone, and my favorite, "Frisky Fridays" which are weekly emails about sex, life, and love (*wink wink* they teach you a lot- you don't want to miss them).

November 10, 2015 - we are celebrating Thanks Birth Control #ThxBirthControl it is an awareness campaign that makes birth control a fun and important topic to talk about. Join the movement now by posting a selfie with the hashtag #ThxBirthControl, sharing one of their funny postcards, or just starting a conversation with your friends about it. As for me, I'll proudly wear one of my cute shirts. Which shirt should I wear?

Bedsider has such clever shirts, buy one here so we can match. They are only $10!

For some intense fun and laughs join Modern Day Matchmaker Paul C. Brunson and expert guests, including celebrity OBGYN Dr. Drai for a Spreecast chat about sex, love, and relationships on Tuesday, November 10th at 8PM. Register here (it’s free), and share it with those who might be interested.

Paul is talented, I heard him on a panel at Blogalicious. I know and love Dr. Drai, he keeps it real, raw, and will have you dying laughing.

If you aren't available at 8pm, you can join the Twitter chat at 2pm EST with Bedsider and Refinery29 #R29xBedsider

At 2pm, find me on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook to see which shirt I chose to wear and what props I use to top it off!

Now It's Your Turn:  Are you a supporter of birth control why or why not? Why do you think it is so controversial for us to even talk about contraception? Comment below to let me know; I would love to hear what you have to say.

#BlackMHM : Interview on WRHU 88.7FM

Success is overcoming the doubtful voices in your head that try to stop you. Two weeks ago when I started the Black Mental Health Makeover #BlackMHM social media campaign, I overcame some dark thoughts that told me I would fail at making an impact. Now, here I type today with press coverage and an interview on a radio station that can be heard all around the world.

I've been involved with this radio station for a while. Almost three years ago, I was a business reporter for "Newsline" and a DJ/host for "Off the Charts" and "The Jazz Cafe." Yesterday, instead of being behind the mixing board, I was the guest for an interview on "Hofstra's Morning Wake-Up Call." It was such a humbling experience to be interviewed by Shannon Nia Alomar, a young lady that I have watched grow into a powerhouse. Thank you again Shannon for acknowledging how important mental health is and allowing me this dynamic platform to share my testimony on.

#BlackMHM : Black Mental Health Makeover

When you have a sprained ankle -- you rest it, ice it, use compression, and elevate it. When you have back pain- you apply ice and heat, exercise, and adjust the way you sleep.

When you have allergies- you pop a Zyrtec, Clarinex, Allegra, Alavert, Claritin or some natural remedy you found on Google.

When you have a mental health issue- you act like it doesn't exist because you are too ashamed.

Does that bother you? It bothers me.

I have been contemplating ways to introduce posts about mental health on my blog but I never had a full plan ready to execute. Once I found out about the foolishness Meek Mill said about Wale, I knew I couldn't wait any longer. Celebrity gossip and the happenings of their lives are never topics that I stay abreast on, but Black Twitter filled me in about the Meek Mill vs. Wale fiasco.

Let me fill you in: During a conversation on The Breakfast Club, Wale mentioned mental health issues. Wale has shared in previous interviews about his battle with depression, substance abuse, and not being content with his level of success. So it was very clear that he wasn't joking, these sentiments are also expressed on, The Album About Nothing.

Then he was asked to make some statements about the Meek Mill vs. Drake, which Meek Mill got offended by. Instead of handling his anger like a grown man, Meek decided to post a photo on Instagram and included the following sentence in his caption: "We don't wanna hear you nomore Fam! Go jump off a roof like you been tryna do chump!"

After reading Meek Mill's Instagram post and the reactions on Twitter, I knew this was my opportunity to insert my 22 cents about mental health. Many folks on Twitter were angry about Meek's comments but their responses circled around, "If Wale commits suicide then Meek should feel horrible." This type of approach actually makes light of the situation and makes it seem as though, suicide and mental health issues are appropriate joke topics as long as the person you are talking about doesn't take the joke seriously. That is the farthest thing from the truth. It takes a lot of fearlessness to share about battling with mental health, so to take advantage of someone in that powerful moment is disturbing.

In communities of color, we frequently succumb to the stigma surrounding mental health. I want to start a movement that combats that. My movement is #BlackMHM for Black Mental Health Makeover. I need your help to spread the word!

JOIN THE MOVEMENT:

1. Join my e-mail list, I'll be sending out research about mental health and ways you can get involved in breaking the stigma.

2. Post a black and white photo with a caption that raises awareness about mental health. Don't know what to write? Share why mental health matters to you, why other people should care, or suggest a way to break the stigma. Add the hashtag ‪#‎BlackMHM‬ and tag me @DontDieAfraid

3. On YouTube please subscribe, comment, like, and share my videos so this movement can grow. I have a ton of links in the description box of the video that are resources and some of my favorite bloggers who bring awareness to mental health.

4. Read my blog post about how I was the only black person in the room discussing mental health at #HillDay15.

5. Learn more about my live event, Let's Get Uncomfortable: Black Mental Health Makeover on October 22, 2016.

Now It's Your Turn: Why do you think people are afraid to get help for mental health? What suggestions do you have to break the stigma? Comment below to let me know; I would love to hear what you have to say.