John Legend's "You & I" Video

John Legend's "You & I (Nobody In The World)" video made me love the song even more. When I initially heard the album, I imagined him or my husband singing it to me at my wedding. I expected the video to revolve around an intimate moment with his sexy wife Chrissy Teigen like all the rest of his videos duhhh. But nope, instead he surprised me by including a diverse group of women to show that all those flaws we think we have are actually beautiful. Where do women get cast for these things? John Legend if you are reading this, I would love to be in your next video!

Women can get so consumed with outer appearances, it usually fogs our mirror when we see our reflection. I have plenty insecurities and sometimes I find myself so focused on those instead of the features I love about myself. Now of course this is attributed to society's model of perfection and just always striving to be "better" (I say that in parentheses because enhancements or changes aren't always better, they come with their cons as well.)

This video symbolizes the experience of a woman at all stages of life. As a little girl brushing her teeth in the mirror, as a graduate tackling the real world, as a woman in the workplace dominated by men, as a pregnant mother, as a cancer survivor, and simple moments such as checking ourselves out in a car mirror while on a jog.

All women can relate to this video and I applaud John Legend for including our experiences as a whole. It displays many facets of a woman's life and shows that "you don't even have to try," which is such a relief.

Fourth of July for Black People

So I have a confession...I get nervous when writing about controversial topics. I've always been that person who hates conflict and will do everything in my power to avoid it. Do you know those people who would feel some type of way about something and instead of addressing the issue they don't say anything to the other party involved from getting offended? Yup, those annoying people. I'm one of them! But hey, don't judge me just yet, I am working on speaking my mind and telling people how I feel. It really depends on my comfort level with the person. But anyway back to the point of the post, I'm sure you've figured it out hence the name, Fourth of July for Black People. Today I scrolled through my feed and saw tons of patriotism but the post that stood out the most was this photo.

I didn't comment on the photo to ask the user her motive for posting it. Does this mean she isn't attending a BBQ today? Isn't decked out in red, white, and blue? Isn't going to watch the Macy's 4th of July Fireworks?

On a more serious note, I get it, I totally understand where she is coming from. Our people remained enslaved while America gained independence so why should African-Americans celebrate this holiday? Frederick Douglass said it the best in 1852,

What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer; a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sound of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants brass fronted impudence; your shout of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanks-givings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are to him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy -- a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States, at this very hour.

Hours later I saw the photo below with the caption, "Where it all started...Despite inequality and racism my ancestors fought for a nation of what they dreamed it could be. #TrueAmericans #SC #FreedomFilter #HappyFourth"

These photos inspired me to write this and it's not knocking anyone's perspective, I'm just stating my opinion because this is my platform to do so. I deserve to celebrate this holiday just as much as any other American.

Yes racism, classism, and multiple forms of inequality exist and continue to affect black people, but we are in a different place than we were in 1776 and that should be celebrated. Whether it is celebrated on July 4, December 6, the third Monday in January, or the whole month of February. We have gained physical freedom and independence, it is our mentalities that remain captive.

Where do you stand on this subject?

I Fell In Love With a Mimosa

I've never liked breakfast food...besides pancakes or french toast. The smell of eggs is unsettling (to say in the most polite way), being assaulted on the arm by bacon grease is rude, oatmeal is boring, cereal gets soggy, bagels are apparently only a major thing in NY, sausage aesthetically disturbs me (I can only eat the patties), grits stick to your insides, Greek peach yogurt is the only kind I'll eat, and croissants aren't fluffy enough for me (Pret A Manger has the best ones!).

Growing up my main perception of lunch was gross school cafeteria lunch or whatever sandwich my Nana packed for me that I gave  to my classmate Steven. So I wasn't sold on this whole idea of "brunch", combining my two least favorite meals of the day wasn't appealing.

Don't let me get started on the drinks! I'm an apple juice type of gal! You can keep your freshly squeezed orange juice with all that pulp. Just because you add a little champagne to OJ doesn't make it tasty (or so I thought before I fell in love). I NEVER turn down a food outing, so once I heard about Cinco de Mimosa, the Food Before Love event, I had to go.

Casandra, the creator of Food Before Love was at the door in her Tacos & Tequilla shirt greeting her guests as they came in. The event was as Matilda's in the East Village and it was decorated perfectly with sombrero balloons and Corona paraphernalia everywhere.

Once you were seated, there was a menu outlining your brunch choices and then the mimosas started flowing! The music was good, the  food was tasty, the people were friendly, and the mimosas were being refilled on time. I went to the event alone and ended up sitting with ladies who were cousins. We talked, laughed, drank, and had a good ol time!

Casandra introduced my stomach to a brand new brunch experience. She turned me into a BELIEVER! I'm a mimosaholic now! My record is 8 and I'm up for the challenge so come try me.  I think I fell in love with them between round 4 and 5.

So now instead of saying "Dinner Thursday sounds good.", I can be fancy and say, "Let''s do brunch on Saturday darling."

What is your favorite meal of the day?

What is your mimosa record?

Where can I get the BEST mimosa?

Remember Me?

Yes..yes I know I've been gone for a while but I am back now with a lot in store for DDA (aka a more regular posting schedule)! Over the past month I've been attending events, networking, volunteering with NYCares, traveling, eating at amazing places I want you to check out, cooking some great recipes I want to share, and just enjoying life. I am the happiest I've ever been and it's not because life is perfect but I am embracing the journey, even all the bumps.

I am glad that I have been able to figure out a schedule that works for me, I'm so passionate about my blog and just want to share it with the world! I feel everyone needs a little inspiration every once in a while. Over the past weeks I've met a lot of inspiring people I want to introduce you all to.

So again, I apologize for being a ghost, but those days are in the past! The Feisty House's article about quitting blogging really spoke to me. Don't get me wrong, I am not thinking about quitting, that is NEVER an option for me but the time management struggle is real but my vision for DDA supersedes that. I also received some helpful tips from Studio 404's May Blogging Tips Roundup!

Thank you all for believing in me and joining the Fearless DDA family.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

What is one task you could be doing more of if you prioritized your time better? What is preventing you from making time for it?

Spring Fling Fun!- Recap

So remember the event I told you all about a couple of weeks ago? I went and had a blast! My friend Lita accompanied me and there were cake pops so she enjoyed herself as well (sweet tooth with her is an understatement). She even won a raffle that included some cool jewelry and clothing from MyTee B.A.D. ! 

Speaking of winning things, I won a ticket to Popcorn Production's PopEvents May Edition: Unleash Your Brilliance. It is a networking event for business owners and "femme-preneurs"! (how cool of a word is that?) If you aren't familiar with the company, definitely go check out the website! The company was founded by Deborah Asseraf who once used her planning and organizing skills for a major media company but then realized that she would be more fulfilled by starting her own business where she has full creative control. I LOVE entrepreneurs!!! I admire their perseverance, creativity, and quirkiness! I hope to feature Deborah one day soon in our Inspiration Corner!

Danielle was pulling those names out! You're a Winner!

As the event winded down, we had the chance to mingle! I met some really great ladies who are doing their THANGGGG! There is just something so inspirational about being surrounded by women who know what they want in life and are out to get it! It is one thing to be a planner but actually executing it is KEY! One of our activities was to introduce ourselves and when I heard someone say "Food Before Love" I was like "WHATTT?!" I literally found out about that blog two weeks prior and thought it was a genius idea so to be in the same room as the mastermind, Casandra who is the founder was fate! So of course I took her to the side, introduced myself, and told her how much I have stalked her blog. One topic led to the next and we were just clicking in moments! Then a couple of days later I attended her event Cinco De Mimosa...check back tomorrow for the scoop on that! Let's just say it was 6pm, the sun was up, and I was tipsy. So you know I had a great time!

It was my first SheDares event of many! I was glad to see Danielle in her element. I am so proud of her and the circle of women she inspires on a daily basis to live their lives BOLD! She kept introducing me to other business owners and saying how she can connect me with any of them for a feature on Don't Die Afraid but little does she know is that SHE was the major inspiration in the room!

What is your favorite aspect of spring?

She Dares Spring Fling

Okay so this post is strictly for my ladies...or for a guy who has a lady in mind that he can pass this info along to her. I am so excited to announce She Dares Spring Fling!!! My friend Danielle is hosting this on April 30th! She even gave all of my Don't Die Afraid readers a special code to use for a discount! Guess what the code is?!  *drum roll please* "Ashley", so just click on "Enter Promotional Code" and type that and then purchase your tickets.

Go for the "BYOBff (2 for 1 friend combo)" package! Besides having a really cute name, it is a good discount too! The price for one ticket is $25 and two is $40, now that is a great deal (and that doesn't even include your "Ashley" promo code)!

She Dares is a community of like-minded women who want to take charge of their lives! They are women who Don't Die Afraid! I don't want to go into too much detail about She Dares or the founder, all of that will be covered in a special profile because it is a really inspiring story. Until I get to share with you the full story, stay up to date through the She Dares Twitter.

The best way to spend your Wednesday evening after work on April 30 is hanging out with me and meeting others who are just as positive about life as you are! Besides being in a room filled with amazing women, below are 7 other reasons this is an event you don't want to miss.

1. It will get you out of your comfort zone, which is the only way to grow.
2. I'm giving you a discount! Danielle was generous to make a promo code for my readers so  I would love for you to support her event.
3. Yes I this post is about uplifting women but there will be men there too, so ladies come out and get your flirt on *wink wink*
4. There is food! Not a four course meal but there will be treats (if you know me, you know I love to eat).
5. There are drinks also! Every woman should toast to the good life once in a while!
6. We'll play games & activities, after a stressful day at work, who doesn't need a good icebreaker?
7. There are giveaways! Yes that is right....FREE STUFF!

If that wasn't convincing enough, look at the photos below of an old She Dares event, "Let's Wine About Our Differences"

Look at those women having a blast, that is going to be us on April 30! So go buy your ticket! 

How do you find and network with people with similar interests?

Are you ready to be a daring woman and be the boldest version of yourself?

Journée

I love music! It is a great escape and some songs have the power to allow my mind to just drift away. This song, "Journée" by Joke ft. Ayomari has been on replay since I was introduced to it a month ago. The beat is fluid and relaxing. I imagine myself cruising on the coast of an island when I listen to it. It's in French so that probably affects the mindset it puts me in.

When I heard the beat, I immediately fell in love. After some research, I found out the song is actually sampled from "Sourire" by Les Nubians in 1998. The original is a great song too. Too bad I have no clue what they are saying either since it is in French.

I don't encourage excessively vulgar music. I have moments when I love to indulge in senseless rap songs. (I'm trying to not use the word ratchet on my blog...haha. Since this is in parentheses, it doesn't count.) You know the ones that come on Power 105.1 and you are like, "Seriously, this song is stupid but it is my jammmmmm!" I have a confession, my guilty pleasure is "Collard Greens" by ScHoolBoy Q. The first time it was introduced on the radio I said, "Why in the world did they name this song collard greens?" Then I changed the station without even listening. Then one time I turned on the radio and was like this song is dope! I Shazam'd it and to my disbelief it was "Collard Greens" unfortunately.

Anyway, back to my man Joke...do you see his lips?

I said all that to say, if you know French and this song is really vulgar, I apologize. All the translations I found were faulty. I just love the beat and the sound of French rolling off his tongue. If I was into the whole bad boy persona I would totally be attracted to him.

By the way, he isn't a new artist, this song was released in 2012. However, the cool thing about music is no matter how old the song is, it still has the power to affect you. Why do you think throwbacks are so popular? Because there is no expiration date on good music! I tried to find as much information about Joke as possible but it was all mostly in French. I tried finding English subtitles on interviews and that didn't even work. I'm interested in him but this language barrier is a killer.

"Harajuku" is another song of his that I have on repeat. I love traveling, so hearing this song in French while watching the video in Tokyo has my brain on culture overload.

 Joke's Def Jam France Page

Do you like listening to music in other languages? What do you think of Joke? Does he remind you of some American rappers?